Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Come Thou Fount
You know how sometimes you sit and analyze yourself and think about some of your superficial faults and think, "Oh, if only I weren't this way, this would happen for me," or "If I didn't have this physical problem, so and so would like me." Then, for some reason, whether it be through your own tenacity or through sheer luck, that problem goes away. Then you still have the junky job or the boy doesn't like you and you wonder, "Maybe it's just me, maybe he just doesn't like me," because some other guy is blowin' up your phone with his love texts and you're sitting there mooning over the person who doesn't even think twice about you and you realize that the guy you don't like likes you just the way you are and who you think you really want is dumb. It's way late at night when I'm writing this so I don't know if I'm making sense. All of a sudden, you realize that you need help and that help isn't going to come from your mom or your job or the attentions of the guy that's never going to give you attention and you wonder why you haven't talked to God in so long and how the answers are really easy but you're too stubborn to see them, so you let it all go and shape up and talk to the being who created you in all your glory and selfishness and you go ahead and accept yourself a little more and love your follies because they make you who you are. This papercut comes from a line in the song Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing and I really should read verses before I spend hours cutting them out of paper because it really goes "Here's my heart, O take and seal it," but I think it matches the hymn just as well with the word Lord in there. I've loved this song for ages. It sums up my weekend and it comforts me.